“…I try to think of bad times. Good memories are all I have.” -Avetts, One Line Wonder
I’ve always been a sucker for nostalgia. There’s something special about escaping into a memory and living in it even if it’s only for a few moments…remembering where you’ve been, the places, people and things that are near and dear to you and ultimately how they’ve shaped your life as it you live it. I have a beautiful library of memories that I keep deep in my soul and I find it so lovely when a smell, a song, a taste, a friend can bring those memories to life and take me back to that place.
Lately, I’ve been even more caught up in the magic of my memories. I don’t know if it’s the glorious hours that I’ve been spending hanging in my backyard letting my mind wander and the sun shine down on my face, or the heaviness and reality of this whole thing I have going on with cancer. Or maybe it’s all the time I’m spending at my parents house and the drugs I’m on…but my sense of nostalgia is at an all time high and I’m loving it!
Last week, I was taking a leisurely stroll through my beautiful neighborhood soaking in the sights and sounds of the city…Mt. Washington…Pittsburgh and I’m all of a sudden overwhelmed by the smell of fresh cut grass and gasoline. The space between the city streets of Mt. Washington and the lazy barely paved roads of Washington County where I grew up couldn’t be further from one another. But the smell immediately takes me back to summertime in good old Southview, PA. I couldn’t help but smile as memories of long summer days, tan legs, neighborhood kickball games came flooding back to me. I had very vivid recollections of good times spent in the swimming pool and trampoline in our backyard, fishing with nothing but nets and our bare feet down at Galati’s pond, and riding my bike for miles upon miles. I can remember feeling free and happy and loved. For me, that’s the epitome of childhood.
I love James Taylor. For many reasons. His voice is like velvet and his music is mellow, comforting and peaceful. I’ve seen him live more times than any 29 year old should ever admit to. Other than having the voice of an angel, JT’s music is special to me because some of my absolute favorite memories of my entire life are tightly stitched to his Mudslide Slim Album (read up on music-evoked nostalgia if you get a chance…it’s fascinating). The summer of my junior year of undergrad at Gannon, I took a biology class that afforded me the opportunity to spend 2 weeks exploring Yellowstone National Park. At that point in my life, I had never been west of Ohio, so the vast beauty and greatness of the mountains and wilderness completely captured me…mind, body and soul. We hiked, camped, explored, animal-watched for 2 weeks straight. I experienced all of this with some very special people including one of my very best and most dear friends ever, KT. It was heaven to wake up in the wilderness and breathe in that brisk mountain air and have no idea what the day would entail and what we would see or discover. I met a new part of myself on that trip. Reminiscing makes me warm inside.
I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m thankful. Thankful that round #2 with the big C and this medical leave has given me the opportunity to truly disconnect and escape from the stresses of everyday life and to reflect and focus on what makes me genuinely happy and what is important to me. It’s pretty damn great.
May 13, 2013 at 12:14 am
Tia, I really thik you have hit upon some of the wonderful and surprising gifts of cancer treatment. Savoring the beautiful parts of your life like memories and the amazing way music and light can lift you on high make this time not only bearable but treasured. Thanks so much for the reminder. Sending love and prayers your way on this Mother’s Day. Peg
May 13, 2013 at 4:13 am
As a breast cancer survivor 2 times also, I just have to admire how your personally handling it. You are so strong, humurous, and looking for all the good. You make me feel ashamed of myself for not looking at all of the positives. I felt sorry for myself for too long. Sometimes to this day,i get angry about the bad side effects that the chemo left me with. I lost my career, it was a highly stressfull job, too many hours, precious hours and holidays spent away from all of my family that i love. I just recently started going back to church which has made me feel better, and i always look forward to your uplifting posts. Tomorrow is a new day and i’m going to try to live up to your standards. It’s going to be hard, but damn it—i’m going to do it anyways. So therefore—feel even better knowing that you’ve taken me out of my rut….You’ve made me want to change for the better. I just want to thank you.
May 13, 2013 at 9:05 pm
Get it, girl! Thanks so much for the kind words, I’m so happy to have helped:) I’ll be sending lots of positive and warm vibes your way!
May 13, 2013 at 10:28 pm
Tia you are the inspiration in all our lives–you are the best–lots of love and prayers to you–Aunt C=)
May 14, 2013 at 2:26 am
I don’t know you. But I know some wonderful people that are also taking various treatments for cancer and your words have really, really helped me…so that maybe I can help them. It is so hard to stand by and not be able to take some of their pain away. Thank you for sharing your memories and your inspirations.
May 14, 2013 at 6:14 pm
Thank YOU T for reminding us that many things can be taken from us in life…and yet we can carry on. It is the stuff that cannot be stolen….our memories our hopes our dreams…that is what has true value. Cancer has taken your hair; some time away from work; it has taken you out of some social settings that aren’t sure what to think of or say to a 29 year old who has cancer…again. But these things; times; these places will be exchanged 20 times over in the rest of your days and cancer has never been able to touch what matters the most. It is with you forever. Thank you for the reminder strong beautiful friend.
May 15, 2013 at 10:33 pm
Beatifully stated Sweet T– you are writing your own lyrics.